Random FMA Moments!
by InuKagomeLuver4Eva
Summary: I was really bored today so I thought I would make some short funnies!There's some Fairy Tail and Harry Potter in there, but I own nothing except for Kirimi...and I wish Edward...but no. Rated T for perversion, swearing, and Voledmort:D fixed version.


**This is just a random FMA Funny! I made this up in a few minutes so sorry if it sucks: P. Also, chapter 5 will be up later tonight or tomorrow! YAY! Lol. On with the Funny! Btw, this will be very perverted and Envy will act gay, but that's just because of something he ate, don't worry. NO YAOI!!! That's just wrong. **

"Hey, Ed?" Kirimi asked as the two walked down the busy streets of Centrals market. He looked over at her with curious eyes.

"Yeah, Kirimi?" She stopped as she spotted something on the ground and bent down to pick it up. Her eyes widened and she jumped up and down like a kid on crack.

"LOOK, ED! IT'S SOOOOO SHINY!!!!!!! CAN I KEEP IT?!!" When Ed saw it too he jumped up and down too. What they had found, in fact, was a quarter with a smiley face drawn on it.

* * *

Alphonse was sitting under the tree with his brother, Winry, and Kirimi circled around him as they played strip poker. Ed had only his pants and tank top left on, Winry had all of her clothes on, and Kirimi had shorts and a tank left. Al was fortunate to be winning since he had a secret weapon which no one ever thought about hiding inside of him.

"Go, Alphonse." Ed grunted as he sighed and laid down his cards before hunching over, defeated. The armor laughed quietly before setting down a full-house which meant that everyone had to take another article of clothing off. Kirimi and Winry didn't bother taking their clothes off since they were in the presence of two teenage boys. Ed was about to take off his shirt when a giggle erupted from Alphonse's stomach.

"What was that, Alphonse?" The three ganged up on him as his armor shook violently before his head shot off, causing the two girls to scream loudly. You'll never guess who popped out: Envy. He looked around before spotting Ed and tackling him to the ground with a grin on his face.

"I missed you, Edward!! Tell me you love me over those two whores!!" Winry brought out her wrench while Kirimi created a sword before the two chased him into the distance.

"What was that all about?" Ed asked Al as they watched Envy get beaten to a pulp. Alphonse shrugged and they continued their game of strip-poker.

* * *

Mustang sat at his desk signing paper after paper just to pass one little law. A knock on his door interrupted him and he looked up to see Fullmetal and Illusionary standing there with weird things on their heads.

"Hey, Colonel! How's it going!?" Ed asked his voice slightly suspicious as he tossed something onto his desk. Mustang looked at it with narrowed eyes before picking it up and holding it in front of his eyes.

"Fullmetal, what the hell is this?" Ed whispered something in his ear and the colonel turned bright red. Kirimi cracked up and ran out of the room with Ed right behind her. Hawkeye entered the room after giving the two teens a weird look before turning to the colonel.

"Sir, we have a problem. Apparently the Homunculus, Envy, has appeared looking for something that Edward had stolen from him." Mustang's bangs covered his eyes as the door was kicked down and a giddy Envy skipped into the room with tiny flowers floating around his head.

"There you are, my sexy Mustang! I heard that Edward gave you something of mine and I would like it back! Unless…" A mischievous grin grew on his face and Mustang did the only sensible thing: he ran like fuck! Envy chased the Colonel around outside as some officers cheered him on while Hawkeye turned her attention to Ed and Kirimi who had run back into the office, their faces red from running around.

"Edward, Kirimi, what did you give the Colonel?" Kirimi cracked up again and answered between gasps.

"That…was…Envy's…first…" Kirimi couldn't manage to say the word, so Ed filled in for her.

"It was just some weird package we found in Envy's pocket when he wasn't looking so we took it. I think it's called a …" Just then Mustang ran back into the room and slammed the door before turning hating eyes to the two teenagers.

"What is this used for!? He keep talking about 'having fun' with me!" Envy kicked down the door and tackled Mustang tightly.

"Let's have fun, Mustang! I know a great place where we can use this!"

~Later~  
Mustang's eye twitched as they stood outside of a place that was dirty and trashy for any person.

"You brought me to a strip club!?" Envy giggled and just bounded inside of the door before Mustang could even answer.

'What's the harm in just checking it out?' Five minutes later Mustang was running out of the club with men chasing after him in skimpy thongs.

"Go to hell, Envy!!!" Envy just laughed and walked away.

* * *

"Hey, Ed, did you ever wonder if you'll get taller?" Kirimi asked as the two sat beneath a tree, enjoying the sunset together. Ed tightened his jaw for a second before calming down and answering.

"No, I know I'll get taller some day, Kirimi. You can't call me short when you're even shorter!" She looked taken back but blew it off with a smile.

"At least I'm not too short for sex!" And with that, she was running down the hill with Ed right on her heels. Somewhere up in the tree lurked a person so evil, he could kill you with one look. The man jumped down and laughed as the two chased each other around the hill. His evil laugh was interrupted when another person jumped down beside him with a stick pointing at his face.

"It's over, Voldie! Avada Kadavra!" The silence grew as nothing happened. Voldemort just stared at Harry before punching him in the face and walking away whistling.

* * *

Armstrong was walking along when something mysterious caught his eye and he turned to see a bald man walking towards him with a stick pointed at his face.

"Avada Kadavra!" Armstrong and the man stared at each other before a young teenager popped up and kicked Voldemort in the crotch, running away down the streets with his hands in the air.

"…" Armstrong was speechless. Later, Ed and Kirimi were walking down the street when the same bald man showed up.

"Avada Kadavra!" Ed pushed Kirimi behind him before taking the stick and breaking it in half and tossing it back at the man who fell to the ground and began crying like a baby. The black-haired teenager showed up again and stopped when he saw Voldie on the ground crying.

"Fuck, I missed my chance!" As he turned to run, Kirimi stuck her foot out and tripped him.

"Oops, I tripped you. Go back to your own damn world, freak! And take baldy there with you!" Voldie looked up at her with puppy dog eyes and she just created a small ball and threw it towards him before running with Ed away from there.

"Ooh! Ball-!" KABOOM. "Fuck…you…bitch…" Voldie turned to a crisp before disappearing. Harry just sat there before getting up and walking away.

* * *

Kirimi was walking through the shopping district of Central when two people caught her eye looking through a window. One was a blonde-haired girl wearing a short skirt and the other was a guy with…pink hair and a dragon-scaled scarf?

'Must be tourists…' As she walked past them, a guy wearing only his underwear ran past her and she stopped, her eye twitching rapidly.

"You bastard, Natsu! Erza will kill you if she knows you travelled to this dimension! Where the hell are we anyways?" Kirimi spun around, fire in her eyes as she created a giant hammer.

"GET THE HELL OUT OF FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST!!!!!!" The two guys went flying through the air while the girl screamed and crouched down on the ground. Kirimi looked down at the girl before extending her hand out.

"Wanna go shopping?" Lucy stared at her a minute before nodding her head and smiling, grabbing the hand and pulling herself up.

"I'm Lucy Heartphillia, what's your name?"

"I'm Kirimi; I don't have a last name." The girls got along well and went on to shop. Meanwhile, Ed and Alphonse were leaving HQ when two guys landed in front of them, one with pink hair and the other almost completely naked. They jumped up and looked around, cursing under their breaths.

"Hey, your hair is pink and you're mostly naked." Ed stated the obvious and the two turned to look at him.

"Hey, you're really shor-!" Natsu started but was kicked fiercely by Ed who was screaming profanities.

"I'M NOT SHORT, YOU ASSHOLE! AT LEAST I'M TALLER THAN MY GIRLFRIEND!!!" Gray just watched as Natsu turned his flames on and shot fireballs at Ed who dodged them barely. "WHAT THE-?!" Gray just sighed and placed a fist against his palm.

"Ice Make: Bow and Arrow!" Arrows shot at Natsu, sending him soaring through the air again. Ed looked at Gray with some appreciation.

"Wanna go to a bar and drink?" He shrugged and the three headed off to the local bar.

* * *

"Wanna cookie, Alphonse?" Voldie offered him as he walked past the alley he was hiding in.

"H-how did you know my name? And who are you anyways?" Alphonse took a few steps back as Voldie stepped out into the light with his new wand.

"AVADA-!" Harry popped out of nowhere, AGAIN, and socked him in the face before beating the shit out of him. Al just continued walking away and soon forgot what even happened.

* * *

**I cracked up typing some of these! I don't own FMA, Harry Potter, or Fairy Tail! Although, I did wish I owned FMA…anyways, I'll get chapter five up tomorrow since it's really late! Good reviews on this!! **


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